Why is Informed Consent Important?

Why don't you just listen to your doctor, s/he did go to school for many years and they know what they're talking about!  If it wasn't safe, the doctor wouldn't have prescribed/done/said it.  Why don't you just leave the researching to the doctor?

Many of us have heard these questions over and over again and it can be frustrating when you're met with these questions after sharing a story of "misinformed" consent or forced medical care.

Informed consent is important for a number of reasons.  We should have all of the necessary information regarding risks, benefits, alternatives, etc before consenting to any procedure or treatment.  I talk about this a lot with regards to pregnancy and childbirth but this transcends beyond the maternal healthcare field as well.

Doctors, nurses, PA's, etc all do go to school for many years and they often do know what they're talking about but they are human beings and human beings make mistakes.  Sometimes doctors do not go to continuing education courses to learn updated information, sometimes providers have heard anecdotal stories from peers or have experiences outside of the norm and develop a bias that causes them to disagree with current evidence-based practices, sometimes they just aren't familiar with something and give inaccurate information based on guesses and assumptions, and sadly, sometimes they're just following the money.

Nobody is perfect- including those who work in health care.  They may talk big sometimes but don't let their confidence fool you, sometimes they are just dead wrong.

Dr. Google can be a very bad thing for some people.  It can often be fuel for people with Munchhausen's as well.  I agree that your typical hypochondriac probably should not Google their symptoms but for some of us, it has been a lifesaving resource.  I diagnosed my sons medical conditions before the doctors did- without me advocating for him, he would not be receiving the treatment he is today.

Photo courtesy of The Soft Landing

Of course, this doesn't mean you should never trust a doctor but a good, trustworthy doctor will always give you the information you need to make an informed decision.  If you ask a doctor for statistics, drug risks, or evidence to back up a claim and they "can't" or won't give the information to you, you cannot trust that doctor; fire them.

Last week, I visited a local emergency department for the worst migraine I've ever had.  I went to the E.R. with hopes that they would actually look into why I'm having these debilitating headaches- instead, they just offered treatment and then sent me home.

I was happy to feel better, however; before obtaining the treatment, I notified the provider that I was breastfeeding my 7 month old and that all medications would need to be safe- especially since my little one does not regularly take bottles and I was unsure as to whether or not he would take one for me.  Plus, I only had 8 oz of expressed breast milk and preferred not to introduce formula when I didn't have to.

She said she would let "them" know and disappeared.  A nurse came in to start an IV and some meds to treat the migraine.  While she was prepping the IV, long before she even added the drugs to the bag, I confirmed that they were not contraindicated for breastfeeding.  She said they were fine and explained what each was for: Benedryl to help calm and relax me, Toradol for the pain, and Compazine (she used the generic term) for the headache.  She explained that Compazine is actually an antiemetic but has an added benefit of helping with headaches- much like my son's hydroxyzine for his allergies also works to reduce his nausea even though it's not the actual purpose of the drug.

As I was in no condition to verify these things on my own, I was relying heavily on the staff to provide me with accurate information.  I nodded and let her go about relieving my pain as my mom sat along side me with my infant and toddler.  She had come with me so that I could breastfeed the baby as needed.

Shortly after the nurse left, a PA entered and introduced herself and let me know that I would be unable to breastfeed FOR 24 HOURS.

Confused, I told her that I'm fairly certain that I received Toradol after my c-section and I was definitely breastfeeding then.  Surely the nurses in the Mom & Baby unit weren't giving me something unsafe?!?!  She said that both the Toradol and the Compazine were not safe while breastfeeding.  Panicked, I insisted that I had been previously told that these drugs were fine.  She rushed off to double check while my mom packed up to bring the boys home and wait for my older children to get off the school bus.

I spent the next, actually, I have no idea how long it was but it felt like an eternity, alone in that hospital room experiencing the scariest drowsiness/grogginess ever.  I was in a state of sleepiness where, for whatever reason, I was fighting the sleep because every time I drifted off, I woke up terrified.  I've had Benedryl and Toradol before so I suspect it was from the Compazine which has a laundry list of scary side effects that I was never counseled about.

When the PA returned, her new claim was that I would not be able to breastfeed and would need to "pump and dump" for 48 HOURS!  This was even worse!  She did say that the Toradol was fine but that it was the Compazine they were worried about.

I told her, that I wish I had known this before they gave it to me.  I would have refused treatment.

She went on to say that it was "category C" (a pregnancy categorization) and that it the risks were unknown.  I told her that if I would attempt to give him a bottle but I may have no choice other than to breastfeed him and I made it quite clear that I was not happy about this situation.

I came home and called the Infant Risk Center because they offer evidence-based information regarding breastfeeding and medication as per Dr. Hale's findings.

The person I spoke with said it is classified as an L3 (the proper lactation category) because the risks are unknown.  She then went on to explain that Dr. Hale says it peaks in the breast milk between 4-6 hours and that based on it's half life, half of it would be eliminated from the breast milk within 8-10 hours.  She also said that the quantity that passes into breast milk with one dose of Compazine is expected to be very low and that if I were to nurse my son, she recommended that I wait at least 8-10 hours.

I was able to get my son to take a bottle for the next 10 hours (thanks to some donated milk from a close friend) but at 11:58 p.m., he was unwilling to take another bottle so I had very little choice and was left having to nurse him despite the lack of safety studies on this drug.  I had to nurse him again at 5:00 the next morning and throughout the rest of the 48 hours as he kept pushing the bottle away, making it clear that he wanted nothing to do with it.

I find myself upset with the fact that I was misled and put in a position where I had to nurse my son and hope for the best that the medication would not harm him.  I do not believe anything malicious took place at the hospital but it is imperative that hospital staff (and all healthcare providers) be properly educated when it comes to breastfeeding and that mother's be presented with all of the information so that they have the option to refuse care if it conflicts with their child's ability to eat.

The nurse should not have been so quick to say it was safe if she wasn't sure.  There is no shame in double checking if she didn't know the answer.  Since she was very quick to answer, I assumed that the first provider had done her job in making sure the meds would be safe. What was more aggravating though was that the first provider came in with the PA and when I objected to having to wait to nurse, she said, "no, it will definitely affect the baby" in a tone that felt almost accusatory- as if I were crazy for expecting to be able to feed my son even though she was the very first person I notified that I was breastfeeding.  She knew and it appeared as if she had done nothing with that information.  On some level, I do blame her since I told her that it was likely that my son wouldn't take a bottle and the PA seemed surprised at this so, at the very least, the PA was not aware of the importance of a safe medication.  She did, however; know that I was a breastfeeding mom before she walked into my room because it's in my chart so I will never understand why that specific drug was ordered in the first place.  A booby trap perhaps.

I did not give informed consent in the E.R.  I couldn't have as I was given inaccurate information and I can only hope that that it wasn't done on purpose for my benefit because I would have gladly continued to suffer through the migraine if it meant I could safely feed my little guy.

This is the very reason why informed consent is important and why we should be in control of our healthcare choices.

Undercover Mama Review & Giveaway! Closed

I feel awful because I meant to get this up much sooner but between Logan's birthday, my nephew's birthday and adjusting to being a student again, I've been pretty busy and tired! I'm so glad that I've gotten into a good groove again!  WOOHOO!

I had the chance to review an Undercover Mama nursing tank.  I've worn this thing all over the place.  I'm completely obsessed with it now.  This top is super comfy, it's long enough that my belly stays covered, it's soft and it allows me to wear a bra that I know can easily support my busty self!  It's well constructed and the sizing is generous.  I reviewed a medium and I am fairly busty (34F) and the medium was a great fit! I have some nursing tanks that offer good support but I still favor a couple of my bras and it's nice that I can still wear them and just attach the Undercover Mama top right to the bra!

For Logan's birthday party, I wore it as a stand alone shirt.  I normally wouldn't suggest doing this if you're wearing a racerback bra like I was but it was so hot that I really couldn't imagine having another shirt on and I wasn't anywhere fancy so I just went with it.

I think my favorite use is with our Ergo because I can easily access my breast to nurse Xander!

Honestly, I love this shirt so much that I think I'll use it in the future when I go back to wearing regular bras as well.  Again, it's very soft and comfy.

To use the shirt, you just simply slide the hook over the fabric just below your nursing bra clasp and then when you open your nursing bra, the shirt goes with it!  It really is a brilliant invention!

Please excuse the pictures- I'm not very photogenic!

Fussy baby needed a nao

Win one of your very own!

Undercover Mama is giving one of my readers their choice of fall color Undercover Mama (Brown or Cream)!

Mandatory entry:

Follow and fan Undercover Mama on Facebook/Twitter and comment below that you did! 

Additional entries:

1. Follow me publicly and comment below that you did
2. Comment below with what color you'd choose if you won. 

Please leave a separate comment for each entry.  GOOD LUCK!

Giveaway will end 10/1/10 at 11:59 PM EST and winner will be chosen via random.org on 10/2.  Winner's prize will ship for free within the U.S. or Canada.  If you live outside of the US or Canada, then you will be responsible for covering shipping costs. I received the tank top I reviewed but I was not otherwise compensated for my review.

Leading Lady Review/Giveaway Ends 8/20

I got the chance to review a few things from Leading Lady and I love them!  Now, I don't have many nursing tops because I'm always worried about the shelf bras actually accommodating someone of my size.  I've always just used the 2-shirt method or nursed from the bottom of my shirt.   I reviewed 2 tanks and a front closure bra.


The first tank was a Bestform Nursing Bra Cami in size 2X.  It fit wonderfully around my chest however it was roomy in the belly- which tells me that I'll get some great use out of it should I get pregnant again ;)  It's also pretty good at camouflaging the little bit of baby pudge I have left since it's not skin tight.  I have it on now actually and it's very comfortable.  I actually really like sleeping in it because it's easy to use when I have to nurse my little one at night but it keeps my belly nice and warm which is necessary during the summer months when our air conditioner is on in the bedroom while we sleep (Ed likes to keep the room cool).  I did not take a picture of the 2X because I'm wearing it in the video.

 
The second tank was also a Bestform Nursing Bra Cami but in size XL. 

I found that this tank fit better in the stomach area but was a little more snug in the chest.  It's still very comfortable.




Both tank tops offered me quite a bit of support and left me feeling very comfortable which says a lot! I am a 34/36 F (I technically measure 35 so I can go either way.  I prefer a more snug fit so I usually go with the 34) so finding something supportive is difficult for me.


I'm completely impressed with how easy the clasps are as well.  They are truly easy to use one handed!


Finally, the bra that I reviewed was the Cotton Front Closure Leisure Bra.  This bra is simply amazing.  I think this is by far the most comfortable bra I have found in a long time!  Back when I was a C cup I had a much easier time finding comfy bras but as I started getting larger (Thank you breastfeeding!), comfortable and supportive bras became a thing of the past.  This bra however is stretchy, soft, and pretty supportive.  What I do is just unhook a few of the hook and eye's and pull the cup aside to nurse, this way it's still hooked but I have enough room to work with.

On a scale of 1-10, 10 being the best, I think:
Quality: 10

Comfort: 10 

Support: 10 (this is going to vary from product to product but I felt that the front closure bra specifically offered a lot of support)

Ease of use: 10

Price: 10  (again this will vary from product to products but I feel that they offer quite a few options that are inexpensive.

The only cons that I can find are the "slings" that are for added support in the camis.  I have a hard time figuring out where to put them so that they're not visible but that's not Leading Lady's fault.  That's user error and I know this because I have the same problem with my bras from Motherhood Maternity.  Other than that,  I love these camis.



Do you want a chance to win your own Nursing Cami?

Leading Lady has offered to giveaway a nursing cami to TWO of my readers!!

Mandatory entry:
Follow my blog publicly (this is important so that I can verify that you are following me) and comment below that you're following.


Additional entries:

1. Visit Leading Lady and comment below to tell me about something else you see that you like.
2. Follow Leading Lady on Facebook and comment below that you follow. 

 I received 2 nursing cami's and 1 front closure bra for review.  I was not compensated in any other way.  This review shares how I honestly feel about the product and the opinions and views shares are not necessarily the views and opinions of Leading Lady.  The contest is open until 8/20/2010.  Two winners will be chosen on 8/21 via random.org.  The winners have 48 hours to respond or another winner will be chosen.

 

BabyBond Review

I recently had the opportunity to review a Baby Bond "Couture" cover.  Now I have spent 4 years breastfeeding without a cover.  I prefer to be without one because:

• It draws more attention
• My children hate being covered
• It's too warm sometimes
• I don't eat under a blanket and they shouldn't have to either
• It's just a hassle to fuss with a cover

and my favorite reason is that in my opinion- using a cover gives the impression that you believe you are committing an act of shame and confirms societies opinion that it's something that should be done in private.  While this is probably NOT your reason for using a cover, the anti-nurse-in-public folks out there are likely to interpret it that way.  Nursing without a cover says, (again, my opinion), that you are not ashamed and that breastfeeding your child is a beautiful and natural thing.

With that said- I don't really have money for lots of nifty nursing tops so nursing in public for me works 1 of 3 ways:

1. Wear a tank top under a t-shirt and then lift the t-shirt from the bottom and go over the top of the tank top.  This keeps my belly covered and the top of my breast.
2. Wear just a t-shirt and go from the bottom of the shirt.
3. Wear a tank or shirt w/a lower neckline and go over the top of the shirt.

The problems with these methods are that sometimes it's too warm for 2 shirts and without the 2 shirts, either my breast or stomach are exposed and I feel naked.

The Baby Bond has been an amazing product for me though!

 Ignore the bra strap and the sling ;) I had already taken him out of the sling when he decided he was hungry.  Also, I look like I'm sleeping but I promise I'm just looking at him.

I'm LOVING how discreet I was able to nurse in my tank top!

We got a side shot just to show that a little bit of boobage MAY be visible but someone would have to be really staring at me to notice it.  Please excuse the horrid pic as Ed is no photographer! :P

I had planned on getting more pictures at my friends wedding however with the extreme heat, my little one didn't even want to nurse much because he was so uncomfortable.  When he did nurse, it was inside in the a/c and later in the night when my camera batteries had died.

I'm completely in love with it! The "Couture" can be worn in 2 ways- as a sash to cover you while you go over the top of the shirt or as a belt to cover your belly while you go from the bottom of the shirt!

Did you catch that? ;) It covers YOU.  Not the baby!  The baby isn't covered at all so no fussiness or overheating.  Plus, my little guy is free to socialize with me while he eats!

I don't feel that it really draws that much extra attention (people kind of stare at me and my babywearing paraphernalia anyway...)because they are solid colors.  This means I can literally put it on before I even leave the house and then I don't have to worry about holding a baby and fumbling with it later.  It just looks like a sash or a belt and doesn't really stand out unless someone is really looking at you!

Another great thing about it is the soft t-shirt like fabric.  It's really comfy and doesn't feel like it's even there!  I'm so happy that I was able to go out wearing just a tank top without having to worry about the whole top of my breast hanging out!

This is a HUGE benefit to my fellow babywearers if you ask me!  I've nursed from the bottom of my shirt while my little one was in the sling and that was a pain in the tush!  Getting my shirt back down afterward was just as awkward and sometimes not as easy.  For this reason, I really prefer shirts that allow me to nurse from the top but I really hate how exposed that leaves me! Often times I find myself covering my breast with a prefold diaper or some other random object I pulled from the diaper bag.  The Baby Bond completely eliminated that!

I managed to find yet another use for this brilliant product!  We had gone out for a bite to eat and our cloth wipes were a bit too wet and leaked out of the diaper bag onto the seat of my pants as I was carrying the bag! Thankfully I was about to sit down when it happened so I was the only one who noticed but when I realized I needed to use the restroom I quickly grabbed my Baby Bond and threw it around me like a belt and pulled it down to cover the enormous wet spot on my tush! I figured it was better that everyone thought I was making a weird fashion statement than for everyone to think I'd had an accident.   So while it wasn't the intended purpose, it definitely saved the day!

I will say that the first time I used it, I was "alone" (sans Edward) at a bridal shower and I hadn't thought to put the cover on before hand so I tried to get it on one handed.  I don't suggest that at all! Play with it at home first and get used to using the Baby Bond so that you are comfortable with it before you venture out on your own like that.  I ended up having my friend (the bride-to-be) hold Xander for a moment while I threw it over me.  It wasn't a big deal, I just wish I had planned better for it.

Our Baby Bond now has a permanent home in our diaper bag.  I won't leave my house without it!

I definitely recommend this!

AWOL and upcoming review/giveaway!

WHEW! Between playing around with WordPress and life, I didn't have nearly enough time to post to my blog.  I am here and hopefully things will get back on track!

 

In the near future I'll be hosting another great giveaway for a Baby Bond nursing cover of the winner's choice!  Not only will a lucky reader get a nursing cover, my readers will all be able to take advantage of a great discount code so keep your eyes peeled for that!!

For more information on the BabyBond, please visit their website http://babybondnursing.com/main/ It's a very unique product that allows mama to remain covered without having to cover the little one!  My review will be available shortly!

Do you want to win an Ergo? Ends 6/30

Review Retreat and ERGObaby are offering one lucky Review Retreat reader a chance to win their very own ERGObaby carrier!

Review Retreat also gives a great review of her experience with the carrier.  I've never tried one so I have no input but she states in her review :  

"My only regret is that it has taken me so long to discover ERGObaby. Each time I wear my carrier, I think back to the many times I was stuck lugging around a baby carrier by hand, or carrying my hefty child only to be sore throughout the night and into morning. Now that summer is here, I plan to use my carrier on a regular basis. It is such a relief to have a hands-free, comfortable, convenient carrier for both my son and I."

For more information on the giveaway, please visit Review Retreat


GOOD LUCK!!

My Journey into the World that is Extended and Tandem Breastfeeding

Back to the Beginning:
    In February of 2002, I gave birth to my first beautiful baby boy- Adam. I was just about 16 when I had him and I didn't know anyone who breastfed so I formula fed him.  It wasn't a matter of it being gross or choosing to formula feed, it was just that it didn't even cross my mind.  Sure, I knew what breasts were for and sure I leaked like crazy during my pregnancy so I knew I had milk, I was just so used to the "Babies drink milk from a bottle" mentality that it seriously never even crossed my milk to breastfeed him.  Interestingly enough, I can't for the life of me remember anyone at my OB/GYN's office or at the hospital asking me if I was going to breastfeed or bottle feed.  I really don't remember being given an option- but they brought my baby to me (after a long fight but that's another story altogether) and showed me where the little glass jars of formula where.  I guess it was just assumed that I would be formula feeding.

    6 weeks later though and I held my crying baby and I wasn't able to console him.  I got this overwhelming urge to put him to the breast.  Did I? No, sadly I did not.  There are a few reasons why- 1.) I thought it was too late, 2.) I didn't think I'd be "allowed" to -which is nonsense because my parents have no problems with me breastfeeding my younger two.  I think teenagers are just overly worried about their parents not being accepting of certain things., and 3.) I didn't know the first thing about breastfeeding so I didn't know what to do.  Instead I suppressed this maternal instinct and have kicked myself since.  I felt incredibly guilty even at that moment when I didn't put him to the breast but I really thought it was too late.  To be 16 years old and really wish that you had chosen to breastfeed instead is pretty rare I think.  It's really one of the very few things that I'd change if I could go back in time.  Sure, I have a perfectly healthy 8 year old boy now but if I could redo things, I'd breastfeed him instead.


The Middle:
    When Adam was about 3 years old, my partner (Ed) and I decided we wanted to try for a baby.  Sure we were only 19 at that point but we were in love and we wanted to expand our family.  We tried for 3 months and decided to take a break until we bought a house.  We were still living with my parents but had tried to conceive because there was plenty of room and we had decent jobs.  The plan was to try to buy the house a few streets over from my parents.  We found out soon after that we had succeeded in creating a baby the month we gave up.  It's funny how things work out like that.
    During my pregnancy, I joined a birth board on www.pregnancy.org, a place that had become my home while teaching Adam to use the potty and trying to conceive.  On my new prospective birth board, the question was asked "Are you planning on breastfeeding or formula feeding?".  Well- then it all clicked.  Breasts were for feeding babies.  The milk that I leaked during my pregnancy with Adam was my body gearing up to nourish him.  The intense urge I had to put him at the breast when he was 6 weeks old wasn't crazy.  I was meant to breastfeed!  I became slightly crazed at this point and made it my mission to learn anything and everything I could about breastfeeding- how do I go about it? Why do people still do it if formula is available? What do I need?

    I found the Everything Breastfeeding board on Pregnancy.org, Kelly Mom, Le Leche League, Dr. Jack Newman, and Ask Dr. Sears and read everything I could.  I learned about latching, hold positions, the "C" cup hold for compression, overactive letdown, oversupply, adoptive nursing, induced lactation (sometimes called re-lactation, and much more.  You name it, I read it-even if it didn't seem to be relevant at the time.  At first, I told those around me that I'd only breastfeed for 6 months.  Then I read more and decided that I'd nurse him until he got teeth.  I held onto this thought process until I learned that when a little one is properly latched, they can't bite you.  It's a good thing I changed my mind about the teeth because he got his first teeth before he was 6 months.  As I read more, I decided that I would nurse him for at least his first year.  Then of course, I read even more and found that the current recommendation was to breastfeed for at least 2 years and then for as long as mutually desired. 

    The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) and the World Health Organization (WHO) have policy statements advocating extended breastfeeding. The AAP states:

"Pediatricians and parents should be aware that exclusive breastfeeding is sufficient to support optimal growth and development for approximately the first 6 months of life and provides continuing protection against diarrhea and respiratory tract infection.  Breastfeeding should be continued for at least the first year of life and beyond for as long as mutually desired by mother and child."

and:

"There is no upper limit to the duration of breastfeeding and no evidence of psychologic or developmental harm from breastfeeding into the third year of life or longer."

  While the WHO states:

"On a population basis, exclusive breastfeeding for the first six months of life is the recommended way of feeding infants, followed by continued breastfeeding with appropriate complementary foods for up to two years or beyond."

    Well that definitely sold me on the idea of extended nursing.  I was one of those people who thought "breastfeeding is for babies", "if they're old enough to ask for it, they're too old", and "nursing a toddler is just WRONG".  Suddenly I found myself realizing how ignorant I was.  I decided at that point that my long term goal was to breastfeed for 2 years.  I'd be sad and disappointed if I couldn't make it that long.  2 years is a long time though so I set mini-goals for myself.  1 year was the first mini-goal because i wasn't willing to accept anything less. 

    In August of 2006, I gave birth to yet another baby boy (though Ed had been convinced that he would be a girl.  Our first ultrasound had proved differently)- Logan.

He was born via repeat cesarean section (a long story for another time) and the IV fluids had caused my nipples to be rather flat.  The hospital staff assured me that once the IV was removed that my nipples would return to their normal state but for the time being, I couldn't get Logan to latch properly. I kept trying but he'd just get frustrated because he was hungry and he couldn't get a good latch at all.  Several nurses tried to help (although one nurse squirted formula on my nipple insisting that he'd smell the formula and it would help him latch...which makes little to no sense to me.) and the hospital lactation consultant finally brought me a shield.

    I hadn't ever read about the use of nipple shields so this was new.  Funny little things, shields are.  They did the trick though! He nursed like a champ once he had something to latch onto!  The trouble was, when they removed the IV and my nipples returned to normal, I couldn't get him to latch without the shield!  As I quickly learned, nursing outside of my house with a shield made things very awkward.  I mean, I was awkward nursing in public anyway because I was so new at this.  I had Ed position the stroller in front of us to cover us up while I got him latched.  I had to get rid of this shield! It was making everything more difficult!  It took us about 4 weeks of picking up the instant he rooted, trying to latch him onto my nipple and switching to the shield if he fussed.  If I couldn't get him on the first nipple without the shield, sometimes after his belly had gotten the warmth of some milk, he'd be willing to try to latch onto the second breast.  Finally we ditched the shield.  It was lifesaver but we no longer needed it.


    We decided to wait until 6 months before starting solids as per the current recommendations so he was exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months of his life.  This boy would not even take a pacifier for me so he had nothing but a breast that whole time.  At 6 months, he made it quite clear that he had no interest in solids whatsoever so we backed off and he continued to be exclusively breastfed.   Around 9 months or so, he expressed an interest in food but not purees.  He wanted nothing to do with them so I did more researching and learned about baby-led weaning.  We adopted that approach and just gave him appropriate sized pieces of whatever we were eating with a cup of diluted juice but he didn't want to eat often so he remained mostly breastfed.  This continued until he was a year old- my mini-goal!

     On his birthday he was given his own little cake to make a mess of- though truth be told, he ate very little of it.  We had reached our mini-goal so our next mini-goal was 18 months.  We were doing it!  As he started eating more and more solids, he started nursing less and less.  He was still nursing first thing in the morning, at naptime, and at bedtime with a few more times thrown in during the day by the time we reached 18 months.  At this point, I readjusted my goal and set course for the 2 year mark.  2 years came and went and by this time we had learned about child-lead weaning and decided to let him self wean.  Neither Ed nor I could find a reason to force him to stop. 


    We had plenty of reasons however to allow him to continue.  Sometime in January of 2009, I was nursing Logan to sleep and he started to seize.  I had never before in my life seen anything like what I was witnessing.  Before his seizure, he had been completely fine.  No fever, no symptoms of any kind of illness- just seizing.  My mother had been here for a visit and was standing behind me when I started screaming.  She looked at him and yelled "That's what you did!".  See I had had convulsions when I was 11 months old after having my DTP vaccine so she knew what she was looking at whereas I was just terrified because something was wrong with my precious baby!  Ed had been outside in the garage doing laundry so my mom went and yelled out the door for him to come quick while I was dialing 911.  No parent should ever have to experience something this frightening by the way.  It's AWFUL. Long story short- he had a massive ear infection that had presented no symptoms whatsoever until his temperature suddenly spiked up to 104 and he started to seize.  He had to have tubes placed in his ears because this wasn't his first ear infection- it was just the worst and had no symptoms.  Over the course of the next few months he had 2 more febrile seizures- oddly enough there were no ear infections present.  This whole incident meant it was even more important that he continue to receive breast milk.


   * We also discovered that he has a bit of a digestive issue and while the doctor is working to correct that, breastfeeding is helping him through the tummy pain that he's experiencing.*


    At this point he was only nursing in the morning, at nap time, and at bedtime.  Occasionally he'd hop up on my lap to nurse because he just needed the extra comfort.  I wasn't sure if he was actually getting much milk.  I knew he was getting some because I could hear him swallowing but I didn't know how much he could possibly be getting 2 years later but he needed the comfort so I let him continue.




The Here and the Now:
    In May of last year, I discovered that I was pregnant again.  Logan was still nursing but in most cases breastfeeding during pregnancy is fine (though one should always consult their midwife or doctor if they are concerned) so we proceeded with him nursing approximately 3-4 times a day.  At one point in my pregnancy, I lost my milk supply.  I thought we were done but he kept crying and crying because he wanted to nurse.  I cried with him because I felt so terrible for him.  I let him keep trying though and about 3 days later, things were back to normal!
   
    In October we all got hit with the H1N1 virus so obviously his breastfeeding was important.  He was less sick than the rest of the house.  I however felt like I had been hit by a bus.  He nursed more (almost constantly) during our bout with the virus.  We were all bed ridden.  I've never been so sick in my life!  I couldn't understand what was going on though as I watched those around me getting better and I was just getting worse.  I had a horrible fever and chills and still felt like garbage.  It wasn't until the red streaks appeared on my breast and I felt like it was on fire that I realized that I had mastitis.   I was no longer sick with the "Swine Flu" but felt just as ill.  After a nice round of antibiotics, I got through my first ever case of mastitis.  I consider myself fairly lucky that I went through 3 years of nursing before ever having to deal with that!
        Logan continued to nurse up until the day that I went into the have his baby brother- Xander.  Much to my chagrin, I had yet another c-section but this time I didn't have
any problems getting the baby to latch.  The hospital staff actually seemed quite impressed with the fact that I knew exactly what I was doing.  I was in the hospital for 3 days and my older children were not allowed to see me because the hospital would not allow any children under the age of 12 in the unit for fear of spreading the flu.  I tried to fight it because of Logan nursing but they were persistent and simply would not allow it.
   
    Adam and Logan spent those 3 days with at my brothers house.  Logan cried every morning when Ed went to pick Adam up for school.  Logan cried a lot in those 3 days.  The first thing he did when I came to pick him up was nurse.  Boy did he nurse! For the next few weeks, he nursed like a newborn again.  I'd be lying if I said I wasn't overwhelmed.  It was then that I realized just how difficult it is for mothers of twins.  I mean I knew it was harder than a singleton but I could really empathize now.  When my milk first came in-well...I had milk before but my body was making colostrum along with the milk and then all the baby's milk came in so I just had more milk-Logan got mad.  The day he got that sudden gush of milk into his mouth he pulled off the breast, yelled "BABY DID IT! YUCKY!" and started crying.  He didn't like that there was milk.  A few days later he got used to it and resumed the crazy newborn nursing.  As I said, this went on for a few weeks.  He'd cry if I tried to nurse Xander without him.  He was beyond jealous.


    He adjusted though and has gone back to nursing only a handful of times a day.  During the day, what usually happens is I breastfeed Xander on demand and if Logan wants to nurse, I ask him if he can wait his turn.  He'll say "Kape" (which means "Okay") and then go off and do his own thing until Xander is done.  At night, I nurse them both together and a lot of times, they hold hands while they nurse. If you've never tandem nursed, then I'm sure it's hard to imagine how one goes about doing so.  We cosleep so I put Xander in the bed first- so that he's between me and the wall and can't fall off the bed, then me, then Logan, then Ed on the nights he's not working.  Xander gets the left breast while I lay on half on my side/half on my back and Logan hops up and leans over top of me and gets the right breast.  When Logan is done nursing, he lays down and goes to sleep.  It's not the most comfortable thing in the world but it happens once a night on most nights so I just kind of deal with it for now.  They're not going to breastfeed forever so in the big scheme of things, I don't have to deal with the weird laying position for long.


    This time around, I've also set mini-goals for myself but I feel confident that we'll meet them all.  Xander is 5 months old today and at this point he is exclusively breastfed. 

     I plan on introducing solids next month but because we do baby-led weaning, he'll get very few purees and will start will table food.  If he's not interested in food then he'll continue to be exclusively breastfed until he is ready for solids.  He'll be allowed the same freedom of nursing until he's ready to quit just like Logan.  Some days I wonder if Logan will ever wean but he seems to be nursing less and less every time he nurses now so I'm sure it will happen on it's own in the near future.


    I love breastfeeding.  I love looking into my nursling's eyes while they stare up at me in a milky daze.  I love not having to get up in the middle of the night to fix a bottle or having to cram all that stuff in my diaper bag, or washing bottle parts.  I love all the benefits that breastfeeding gives me and my children.  It's easily one of the most amazing things in the world.


    The most important tool that a breastfeeding mom can have is her support system.  Without out that, everything would feel impossible.  My mother didn't feel comfortable breastfeeding me or my brother because she feared that she'd be ridiculed by her family and my father's family.  I think this can easily happen to anyone. She formula fed us because she lacked a good, solid, support system.  That's not to say that you can't breastfeed without support however it is a very valuable asset.  I was lucky enough to have a wonderful support system.  Ed supports just about any decision I make because he knows that I've thoroughly researched it first.  My parents are supportive as well.  I have some friends that are supportive of my choices even if they wouldn't make the same choices themselves and that's a good compromise.


    I'm glad I get to enjoy this time with my little ones!


 

Toy Story 3 and a Breastfeeding Infant

We took the kids to see Toy Story 3 yesterday.  First of all, the kids looked absolutely adorable in their 3-D glasses!!! We got dirty looks walking into the theater (or at least I felt like people were glaring at us) because we had a baby in tow.  This is something the general population doesn't seem to understand- I, as an attachment parenting mom, know that her baby wishes to nurse before he cries.  My experience is- babies+move theaters=something that one should not fear :)

We get seated, Xander starts patting at my chest and trying to nurse through my shirt so I latch him on before the movie even starts.  He slept through almost the entire movie-waking up only at the very end to watch the movie for a little bit (maybe 20 minutes).  I tried playing with him silently to discourage him from watching the movie ONLY because without 3-D glasses, the movie kind of hurts your eyes.  He loved the little bit of the movie he saw though and just sat there happily.

We had an issue when we went to see Alice In Wonderland but Xander was very young yet and I think it was just too soon to venture into at theater with him.  Plus, Logan is a mommy's boy so Xander would cry, I'd attempt to leave the theater with my crying baby and Logan would throw a LOUD fit and scream because he wanted mommy.  If I tried to bring Logan with me, he just screamed because he wanted to watch the movie.  It was a mess and I felt horrible for ruining other people's experiences.

They're kids movies though so one can't really expect me to tell my children they can' t see the movie because of their baby brother who doesn't take a bottle- that wouldn't bode well.

 

There are seriously people out there that are appalled at the idea of bringing a baby into a theater at all- to those I ask- why should my older children suffer because I'm giving their baby brother the best possible start in life? The baby doesn't take a bottle so leaving him at a sitter is NOT an option.  He did once out of necessity (I was in the ER) but that was it. Should I be excluded from a family event and be forced to stay home with the baby while my children and husband enjoy the movie? Why should I be punished for doing something great for my baby? My babies are completely quiet in the theaters so I think its' a non-issue :)

Logan was a great theater baby. He'd always nurse right when we got there, fall asleep, wake up and watch some of the movie, nurse some more, sleep some more, ad infinitum. He did this every time we took him to a theater so we pretty much knew that we could freely go see any movie we wanted because he was always so pleasant.

 I suspect Xander will be the same way so we'll definitely be taking the whole family to see Harry Potter in the fall.

Anyway- the movie itself was great.  We laughed, we cried, we laughed some more, we all enjoyed it. Afterward, Ed said "I cried, did you cry?" and I told him that I had.  Adam just shared with me that he cried as well.

I won't give any spoilers but I will say that I expected the movie to be terrible and it wasn't.  I fully intend on buying it for the boys when it comes out on DVD.  It was great!

I'm a sucker for Disney movies anyway.  Well, not just Disney movies, lol, I tend to enjoy watching children's movies- especially if there is singing involved. <3